Skullkickers

Lost in the mix of new hot books, comics that will soon be tv shows or movies, character deaths, character resurrections, new costumes, replacement characters for old favorites, and events that will change everything in the universe for ever....honest....there are the damn good books. Damn good books are good month in, and month out. Damn good books make you look forward to the next issue the second you finish the last one, because you have to know what is next. So, let's talk about a damn good book, let's talk

If you ever played Dungeons and Dragons when you were a teenager you likely had a player or two who regardless of what the story was about just wanted to destroy things. When bored they would randomly call out "okay, I take my sword out and stab it" disregarding if the "it" was a dragon, a wall, or the helpful innkeeper offering the group helpful information to prove that the local magistrate really was evil. That is Skullkickers, two characters (a human nicknamed Baldy, and a dwarf nicknamed Shorty) wrecking havoc on monsters and hacking and slashing through the story.

This is pure action comics. Big fights, hilarious quips and moments, and two characters too stupid to stop and question things, yet smart enough to get out of the traps they are thrown into. The comic is wildly inventive in its use of genre and moments. Instead of simple sound effects like "thud" and "whack" we get effects like "Ass-kick", "Furious Dwarven Punch", and "Maximum Mob Mentality".

Now I don't want you to think this is just a lot of random mindless fight scenes without any substance. There is a big over arcing plot, and I don't want to spoil it. Things that happen in the first few issues pay off much later in the series and make you want to dash back to reread everything before. And as Skullkickers moves into its final arc, it is the perfect time to jump in, by the time you get caught up the book will just be finishing!

But if you can't get behind wild action and big fight scenes, all the plot in the world won't get you into this comic. Skullkickers doesn't take itself seriously, nor should you. This is the action comedy you watch after the big deep drama, the big crazy mash up that makes you laugh after a bad day. It is the Army of Darkness of comics, the quotable, action filled book that just makes you happy. This is the book that introduces a dwarven mecha with its own theme song, and never once stops to note how silly (and awesome) the whole idea is.

If you need more wild action, quotable dialogue, dwarven mecha, overweight werewolves, bad ass pirates, and superstitious ape people (and really who doesn't need more of any of the above?) Skullkickers is for you. Still not sold? Fine, go read it for free! That's right, the creators want their comic read so badly they have put it online for FREE! Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday there is a new page put up. You can read it (starting with issue number one) by clicking here.

Now if you just want to jump right in, you can run to your local comic shop and pick up the first trade for just $10 you get the first five issues, plus the original two short stories that started it all. If you don't have a local comic shop, or it is late at night and you NEED to hand over monies now, you can always just go to Amazon by clicking here: Skullkickers Volume 1: 1000 Opas and a Dead Body TP

Moonrise

I peered out the back window and found the world had filled with a thick, creepy fog. The park behind my house had turned into the misty moors of the Midwest. I had awoken to a world filled with prowling werewolves and other monstrous creatures. Nothing else could explain the ever-expanding, concealing cloud outside the window. I already missed the romantic comedy that was my life a mere eight hours before.

I looked around for my wife, Penny, worried she had already disappeared with the changing setting. Each alteration moved at its own speed; rarely was it ever slow enough for me to say goodbye. I thankfully found her downstairs making breakfast.

I ran to her and hugged her tightly. She let out a confused laugh and asked what was wrong. I quickly told her my worries: that werewolves now roamed the moors, hunting for their next victim. She smiled at me, and patted my head gently.

“Oh sweetie, this town may have been built upon a swamp, but it lacks the bogs to be classified as a moor. You're over thinking things.”

With her reassurance and a quick kiss I was on my way to the train for work. Since the station was on the other side of the park my daily commute always began with a walk. Halfway through my journey I heard a soft noise that could have been a car starting up, or the train leaving the station without me. It was at that moment I realized something: while my lovely fiancé, did reassure me, she never once denied the possible existence of werewolves. With a great feeling of dread I rushed to the train station, not in fear of a fictional monster, but in a heightened sense of urgency to make it to work on time. Or, at least, that is what I told myself.

The mists parted to reveal the train station, with two large lantern-style lights on either side. Were those always there? I looked around for a sign of life and was met only with concealing fog. The sound I had heard earlier must have been the train leaving without me.

The shape of a man appeared feet away from me; I saw his fedora and trench coat long before I saw his face. Desperate for reassurance, I quickly blurted something out.

“Good morning sir, this fog sure is crazy, isn't it? ...Sir?”

The man fell forward and grabbed my shoulders, a dire look on his face as he muttered something that sounded like “Fade Halcyon” and dropped to the ground. This is when I saw the blood: he had been shot. But what did “Fade Halcyon” mean? Was it some dubstep band? And, if so, aren't those the worst final words ever?

It took a few minutes after I called the ambulance to realize his last words were really "Jade Falcon." It helped that I found his notepad filled with details about a case he was working on, locating the Jade Falcon. On the last page was a phone number with the initials “E L” and a kiss left by a pair of red-stained lips.

I wasn't in a world of horrific werewolves; I was in a noir. I knew what I had to do: find the killer, and solve the mystery of the Jade Falcon.

I discovered I was a natural detective; once justice was done, and the Falcon returned to its rightful owner, I struck up an acquaintance with the mysterious “E L” -- Elaine Lambroe, the most popular singer at a local speakeasy called the Lounge. I knew Elaine was the wrong kind of dame the second I laid eyes on her. She had me on her hook the second I heard her sing in that “deep come hither” voice I couldn't resist.

My Girl Friday, Penny, quit after stumbling upon Elaine and I in a compromising position. Even though she had set it up by “accidentally” falling onto my lap, I couldn’t say no to Elaine. I was under her spell.

That is how I ended up on a case to locate a painting. Entitled “Moonrise,” it had been stolen from some local mob boss who owned the Lounge and wouldn't let Elaine out of her contract unless I retrieved the art. I was a sap, but at least I was a lucky one: it only took four bribes, three beatings, and two bottles of bourbon to discover the location of the painting.

That night I made my way to an old warehouse on the waterfront and slowly crept inside. I hoped the goons who stole the painting were stupid enough to leave it unguarded while they went out to enjoy the night's festivities. With a little bit of digging and more dumb luck I stumbled upon the painting in a large crate. I pulled out the painting and wrapped it inside a sheet and started to make my getaway. When I turned I saw the flimflammers that started this whole mess. There were three of them and one of them had Elaine by the arm.

“Easy there,” I said in a voice I hoped sounded confident, “we can make a deal, give me the girl and you get the painting. No one needs to get hurt.” They told me to put the painting down slowly and we could talk. I complied and pulled out my revolver as I stood back up and aimed it at the main schmoe's head. They backpedaled quickly but kept Elaine in their grip. Just as I felt like I was in charge, I heard a click behind me and felt the cold steel on my neck. It was Elaine's boss, the painting heist was a scam to get rid of me, and like a schmuck I had fallen for it.

Elaine and I were escorted towards the car, we were both in for the big sleep, we knew too much. I apologized for not doing more to protect her. She smiled at me, one of those deadly and heartwarming smiles she had perfected.

“Don't worry about it Mac,” she said in the sweetest voice possible, “you did everything you could, and this kitten isn't without a claw or two.”

She leaned over and kissed me deeply. I regretted the fact my hands were tied. I couldn't grab her, couldn't hold her close. She slowly parted from me and gave me a wink. She turned around and leaped at the closest lug. By the time she landed on the poor schmoe she had turned into an eight foot furry killing machine. After she had finished off the entire goon squad and her former boss she let out a piercing howl at the moon above.

When Elaine calmed down, I offered her my coat and with the painting in hand we scrammed.

Her head lay on my shoulder as I drove us out of town, she was so peaceful and calm, nothing like the heart stealing vixen I first met or the heart ripping monster she was an hour before. I knew we would be safe together; we just had to make sure no matter what setting we fell into next, we remained close. Who knew werewolves were able to jump genres too?

Reviewing New Comics 1/04/12

Detective Comics #5 – This was a pretty interesting comic, while the cover promises Penguin and Batman fighting for Gotham, Penguin only shows up in the last few pages so I am guessing it is the story arc theme, but the really cool stuff is developments from the big shocker of the first issue. People are now protesting in Gotham against Batman while dressed up like clowns in honor of the Joker. This idea is quite brilliant and can lead to a lot of fun in the future well beyond the few pages we see here. The main plot of the issue is Batman trying to capture a thug who kills other men Batman was trying to take out for a drug deal. The thug also has a clown mask on so when he escapes through the Joker protest it works perfectly. I am mostly excited that there is a deeper mystery going here since it is called Detective Comics. This is the first issue of Detective where things seem to work smoothly for me, no giant plot holes, no random wtf moments thrown in just because, it is a straight forward tale with some interesting ideas that have been properly developed from past events. The back up story (yes there is a back up) is pretty good too, although I little bit too long I wanted more of the first story, who the hell would be protesting FOR the Joker? Who was that thug? What does Penguin have to do with all of this if anything? The back up is well written and the art for my tastes is better then the main story, we meet a new character with ties to older characters and a great cameo which helps make the comic feel connected to other DC book but really wanting more of the main story detracted me from caring as much about it. Ah well, they made me care about this book for the first time since it launched so that is saying a lot. 4/5

Ferals #1 – I love werewolf stories, growing up werewolves were my favorite monsters, most likely because I had a thing for wolves and they were just extensions of that. So I was looking forward to the first issue of this book about werewolves from Avatar, what I got did not live up to my expectations. It starts off promising enough, we are at an obvious werewolf attack (obvious because there is blood everywhere and it is a story about werewolves) and meet the main character a small town police officer who is drinking buddies with the victim, also around is the victims ex-wife, and the city coroner. After some set up of characters, the victim was a huge ass who drank too much but well the cop liked him we get a page showing the rest of the victim and jump to the cop drinking his sorrows away. Still so far, so good, nothing ground breaking but things could get moving. Sadly this is where we start getting one cliché after another. First, the cop hooks up with mysterious blond woman in the bathroom (because that is what you do), the woman is never given any character but there are hints she will be important later (likely a werewolf). Then the cop while very drunk goes to his dead friend's ex's house, apparently they have been sleeping together for a long while (because that is how these things are in such stories) this time we at least skip the gratuitous sex scene and move to the next day where like clock work a werewolf appears and people die and the cop gets attacked BUT not killed. Now none of that is really bad per se, but I have seen that story so many times I can't count, what doesn't help is that none of the characters are sympathetic or even interesting, they are just drab, boring walking talking clichés. The art work is pretty good, but the coloring has that drab slightly toned down look a lot of Avatar books have which I think is due to their paper stock. There isn't much else to say, thus far it is entirely skippable, which is a shame, I could use a good werewolf story. 2/5

Goon #37 - This issue has as much inspiration from America's history dealing with unions and the tragedies involved as worker rights were created as it does pulp adventure and horror stories. The main plot follows the events of what happens when a rich and corrupt owner of a fabric factory allows hundreds of women to burn to death in a fire and covers it up because he is too cheap to pay for the small things it would take to give them fire exits. The other focus is an old woman who is forced to work at the factory that catches fire after her husband and son are killed in a mining accident. The story is very tragic and sadly too accurate of the history of this country. This is a great story with wonderful art that fits the setting and story perfectly while seamlessly moving with each flavor the plot transitions through. It starts off as a story of a hard off old woman moves to a corrupt business man abusing the system followed by inevitable tragedy and ends with the people fighting for their rights as suddenly giant monsters get involved because the title character becomes a force for the union. To top it all off, the ending so perfectly ties together all the threads and themes of the book it illustrates how all of the divergent elements work in this story. And that isn't the true end of the book, there is still an essay about early unions and worker rights at the end with accompanying pictures from the time that bring back the impact of the heart of this story. I have to admit I haven't read much Goon, but if more issues are like this I need to rectify that immediately as should you. 5/5

OMAC #5 - In this issue the government organization known as Checkmate seeks outside help to stop the sci-fi created monster OMAC from the most famous sci-fi monster of them all, Frankenstein. What follows is a great two front battle, the feature of which is OMAC and Frankenstein just destroying each other for many pages in the wonderful bright Kirbyesque art style. The other big battle is between the power behind OMAC, Brother Eye and Frankenstein's organization SHADE trying to hack into each other's systems. This may sound boring on paper but the characters involved are so dynamic it remains very interesting. This is a great single issue that not only moves the story forward (and catches anyone up if it is their first issue) but also is a solid cross over making all characters involved looking strong and interesting. 4.5/5


Red Lanterns #5 - This is an issue of building up characters, it is a direct continuation from the last issue that shows the history of three Red Lanterns that are slowly gaining their mental faculties and seeing through the rage. What is interesting (besides the diverse and interesting back stories) is the moral implications and questions the characters discuss as they regain their minds. What is their purpose as a red lantern? Are they all victims? If some of them were evil and malicous before gaining the ring does that take away from being a moral force? This talk could have lasted longer and still been worth reading. Even with these talks there is still action, Atrocious and Bleez still have an interesting conflict, and there is also the search for the dead Guardian Krona. A lot more is going on in this book then I ever expected. Finally we get a conclusion to the story on Earth, finding out who gets the ring which is very well done. I'm amazed at how much of the cast I like and want to see more of, this issue really helped solidify these feelings. 4.5/5

Sweet Tooth #29 - After the last story arc that went well back in time hundreds of years we return to the main cast with a month having passed since we last saw Gus and Jepperd, and boy have there been some changes. Many of which I don't feel I should spoil but the important bits of the story are this, Jepperd has been hunting and surviving outside the dam since he was exiled and waiting for Gus and Dr. Singh to find him so they can get back to traveling to Alaska. Once the group meets they decide to steal from the evil Haggarty's men to get a vehicle to make the trip easier. We also get to see the very expansive cast of other animal man hybrids and the people taking care of them find out several important revelations. You know not spoiling things is a bit hard when so much of this story is big revelations. The important part is this, Lemire's plot, art, and story telling are exquisite here. Things are paced in such a perfect way that every panel accomplishes something while also taking time to show off beautiful landscapes and use multiple panels to just let things breath. In this issue as Jepperd stalks towards Haggarty's base we get large panels of the sun setting as he moves, as well as a perfectly paced two pages of him coming across a bird hybrid. The discovery of the hybrid could have been done in two panels but the way it is done we get to experience the discovery of the hybrid as well, it sneaks up on us and Jep as it sits there motionless, once our shared surprise goes away the tension builds, is it friendly, will it alarm the base? This is what makes the series so great, little moments like that, which build the story and show the depths of character. 29 is a new story arc and thankfully the first two pages helps summarize the basis of the story which helps make this a great jumping on point in addition to the start of a new arc for long time readers. 5/5